"Cannot" Bread

I never realized how much joy can be found in going through drawers, boxes and cupboards filled with cookbooks, recipe cards and newspaper and magazine clippings. My husband, Bruce, lost his mom to cancer on August 20th. I had not experienced this depth of loss before. We have both had grandparents, aunts, uncles and other loved ones pass away but losing "Mom" left me floundering in my grief. It wasn't until I began going through Mom's recipe collection that I began to find that I could smile and laugh and talk about her without feeling as if I were causing more pain to an already hurting family.

Mom's collection tells a story of a well-lived life. There are cookbooks from the first years that she and Dad were married, ones from various organizations that she belonged to or supported and cooking shows that she attended. She wrote notes in the margins and pasted clippings inside of cookbook covers. Her handwritten recipe cards, the additions, subtractions and substitutions that she made to make a recipe her own--these have touched my heart. It is like she is standing at the counter with me while I cook and laughing when I mistakenly read "Cannot" Bread when what she had written was "Carrot" Bread. I want to share some of these recipes along with stories about a woman who loved God, her family and  life. She embraced me and accepted me with unconditional love from the first moment that her son, my husband, said to me, "This is my mom." This is my mom, too.